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Neurointersexuality - Own experience and knowledge

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Own experience and knowledge

Well, until I was finally able to enjoy a really healthy sexuality that corresponded to my inner sexual nature, it took no less than 43 years, in words forty-three! Certainly I have already gained my experience with the wrong genital equipment, the sex drive is there, but high quality and emotionally fulfilling is something completely different. Since I have experienced one or the other sexual interlude in almost all transition steps, I can definitely report that with each reaching of a new step, my sexuality also got better.

"My first time" after starting the hormone treatment was halfway interesting because I had a testosterone increase in libido and the finding that the clitoris had increased in size made sexuality exciting in this regard, although it wasn't emotionally fulfilling because there was still too much wrong with my body. I couldn't really let go, especially since the shame was just too great.

Then my first sex after my mastectomy, that was a liberating feeling, even if "down there" I was still outwardly like mother nature had created me, but freed from uterus and ovaries, I felt psychological much cleaner and it was a powerful experience of having got rid of the taboo zone of the upper body and finally being able to allow caresses. On the other hand, the initial euphoria was quickly over, because inside I felt how much I longed for a penis of my own in order to be able to do everything that is just natural for cis-men. The shame was still not gone, because I was ashamed of my wrong female genital. But the sex drive demanded its rights and I didn't want to live as completely as a monk in spite of a steadfast girlfriend and later wife.

Then the sexuality when I had my metaidoioplasty, I was already able to rudimentarily live out my inherent sexuality, even if only to a very limited extent, because a metaidoioplasty is still not a penis, even if I perceived it as my "mini dick" . Sometimes I felt confirmed in my sexuality, which was a very nice feeling and had a positive effect on my almost non-existent self-confidence, the shame was minimally reduced, but it wasn't completely gone, because at the same time I still felt the depths urged to have my own penis of my own flesh and blood.

For a long time nothing followed where I usually only kept myself afloat with masturbation, until I finally had my phalloplasty, testicular implants and glansplasty. The sexual interlude in this phase was very interesting, especially since I was finally able to handle it "the man's way". I felt confirmed all along the line, but the fact that I didn't have an erectile prosthesis made sexuality anything but rich for me. In my sexuality I'm an active man, but the fact that I had to be passive was a very big and painful thorn in my eye. I still had no emotional fulfillment with it, even if, by and large, the sex was much better now, because at least I now had my penis.

At 38, I finally got the erectile prosthesis I had longed for. The masturbation was just gigantic, but unfortunately the sex wasn't the same, I simply had the wrong partner, we just weren't compatible. It therefore took another 5 years until I finally got the opportunity to experience real sex and to be able to fully live out my inner sexual being and the inherent sexuality. And that with a woman who enjoys sex herself, shows it without shame and has no fear of contact with me. The first vaginal penetration of me and the woman got a climax. I was proud like a bunch and my self-confidence made a big leap up. Getting fellatio was a terrific endorsement for me. At the same time I was totally inexperienced and super anxious and very careful, because it was just important to me that she felt good about it and not pressured. In addition, I was terrified of committing a border violation out of ignorance or in the heat of the moment. So, I carefully groped my way to her in my active sexuality and the more we discovered similarities, the more courageous and active I became. In the beginning I was quite passive about the matter, but from time to time I became more and more active and also more self-confident. We mutually discovered our anatomical preferences, experimented, tested, tried different positions, made "fine adjustments" together and became more and more familiar with each other. In the beginning I still had problems getting to the climax at all, I was still too inhibited and insecure, a previously failed relationship with bitter genital insult to myself didn't make it any better and stuck in my bones for a long time.

Today we are a well-rehearsed team sexually, we know our mutual preferences, we know how we can arouse our counterpart quickly and I experience the best sex of my life with her. The fear of violating borders has disappeared, because the sexual area in which I can move freely and uninhibitedly is so large that I can hardly come near the borders. And best of all, I feel boundlessly validated as a man every time I've made a successful interlude with her. In addition, I recommend every heterosexually oriented formerly transsexual man (NIBD) to look for a sexually experienced woman. Because sexual inexperience is counterproductive.

This was a rather "technical" report, in the next chapter I will go into the effects in everyday life that a healthy, active sex life brings with it.



12.04.24: Erweiterung der Inhalte zur körperlichen Transition

Wir haben uns nun die Mühe gemacht und den Bereich der körperlichen Transition um die Hormonbehandlung erweitert.


25.01.23: Neue Grafiken... / New graphics...

...sind nun online. Zu sehen hier und hier.

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24.09.23: Filme und NIBD-Stammtisch

Jetzt bieten wir auch die Möglichkeit, sich gute Filme bei uns zum Thema NIBD anschauen zu können. Hier. Viel Spaß beim gucken und Popkorn futtern. wink

Eine Userin war so freundlich und hat für uns via Zoom einen virtuellen NIBD-Stammtisch aufgebaut. So können wir locker flockig miteinander plauschen und uns dabei sehen. Die Zugangsdaten gibt es nur für registrierte User denen wir vertrauen können.


21.07.23: Chat

Nachdem ich heute den ganzen Tag gebastelt habe, steht nun unser eigener Chat. Immer hereinspaziert in die gute Stube. Kaffee und Kuchen stehen bereit. Hier entlang.


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Neurointersexualität / Neurointersexuelle Körperdiskrepanz (NIBD)
Eine Zusatz-Bezeichnung, die gerne von manchen originär transsexuellen Menschen benutzt wird, um sich von der inflationären Benutzung des Begriffes "Transsexualität", welche durch die genderorientierte Trans*-Community, aber auch durch die Medien getätigt wird, abzugrenzen. NIBD-Betroffene wollen einfach nicht mit anderen Phänomenlagen, die entweder nur ein Lifestyle, Rollenproblem oder sexueller Fetisch sind, verwechselt und/oder in einen Topf geworfen werden. Die Bezeichnung NIBD bezieht sich auf die wissenschaftliche Arbeit von Dr. Haupt.


Neurointersexuality / Neurointersexual Body Discrepancy (NIBD)
An additional term which is often used by originally transsexual people to differentiate themselves from the inflationary use of the term "transsexuality" by the gender-oriented trans* community, but also by the media. NIBD patients simply do not want to be confused and/or lumped together with other phenomena that are either just a lifestyle, role problem or sexual fetish. The term NIBD refers to the scientific work of Dr. Haupt.





Transgender - Transidentität
Transgender hadern hauptsächlich mit der sozialen Geschlechterrolle (gender), die ihnen seitens der Gesellschaft und kulturellen Konventionen aufgedrückt wird. Einen körperlichen Leidensdruck, wie ihn originär transsexuelle Menschen (NIBD) verspüren, ist bei ihnen nicht gegeben. Gerne und immer wieder wird, auch von Fachleuten, Transgenderismus mit originärer Transsexualität verwechselt.
Transidente hadern mit ihrer Identität als Mann oder Frau. Dieses Problem ist rein psychisch bedingt, einen körperlichen Leidensdruck, wie ihn originär transsexuelle Menschen (NIBD) verspüren, ist bei ihnen ebenfalls nicht gegeben. Auch hier wird das Phänomen gerne mit originärer Transsexualität verwechselt.


Transgender - Transidentity
Transgender people mainly struggle with the social gender role (gender) that is imposed on them by society and cultural conventions. They do not experience the kind of physical distress felt by originally transsexual people (NIBD). Transgenderism is often and repeatedly confused with original transsexuality, even by experts.
Transident people struggle with their identity as a man or a woman. This problem is purely psychological; they do not experience the kind of physical suffering that original transsexual people (NIBD) do. Here too, the phenomenon is often confused with original transsexuality.

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